just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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