Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
