Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
