Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
