i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
