hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
