It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
