that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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