i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish my penis had a tongue
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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