She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
