A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
