I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
