Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
