sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
