How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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