The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
