just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
