Jerry, you need to find god
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
