Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize