Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
