My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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