we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
