There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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