sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My dick has a subreddit
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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