You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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