He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
