those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
