Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
