i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
