4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
