is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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