Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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