I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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