He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My nipple is on Facebook.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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