I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
