At least make sure they are 18
Why
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
