on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
