So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
