why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
