before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
