Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
