Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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