Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
