You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
