Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
