Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
