They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
