kristin has been a bad kristin
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
