in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
