he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
