Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
