The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
