I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
