i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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