thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
