I want to have your abortion
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she told me i tasted like america
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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