I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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