toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You smell like stripper and shame
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
