Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
