I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Never underestimate the power of titties
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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