i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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